After a few scares last week, the Olympic torch has just made it through Indonesia, as it continues its treacherous world wide trek to become history's most overblown flame (insert your own gay joke here).  But, come on protesters this is all you got?  Trying to blow out a fire? I mean this is a country founded on protests, with each one following the arc of the next, learning from the mistakes to get more effective.  Look no further than the Boston Tea Party. Excellent non-violent protest, getting piss drunk, dressing up as Indians and dumping goods in the water as a supreme "F. You" to taxes and simultaneously becoming a rallying point of an entire revolution and turning Boston Harbor into this...




By the time you get to the 1960's protests were an art form.  From the peaceful, yet ballsy ones,

to the awe-inspiring marches,
 


to the oddly named "Burn your bra in front of Billy Joel" variety.






So obviously protesters you have a long history to chose from, a great tapestry of intelligently sticking it to the man and through that reaching the masses on injustice.  Blowing out a torch? Thats just not trying hard enough to get your message across, its too simple.  You need something great, something that people will look at pictures at for years with reverence and emotion.  Like the Tiananmen Square tank standoff or the raised fist at the Olympics.  You always need to remember that a smart protest can be a powerful motivator instilled...










with um....great and noble....



ideals...and....


What the fuck?    




Are you people protesting or initiating into a frat?  You do realize that the point of a protest is to make people agree with you, not make sane people want to hit you with a tire iron, right?  As a general rule, if the comment "People will see our point when they see our nuts" comes up in your group meeting, take a moment to be objective.  Has this ever worked? Would a "Big Guns, Big Dicks" NRA calendar convince you of the merits of the 2nd amendment?  How about Nazi hookers convincing you of the tenets of National socialism? (Quiet down F1 driving fans)  And as far as I know James Carville is not known as the Ragin' Cagin because he won debates with a prominent display of his erection.  How did modern protests become a combination of annoying and really fucking annoying?

You see kids 'shock value" gets you exactly that...shock.  That is usually proceeded by disgust and then either dismissal or the tire iron I spoke about above.  So lets take a quick break, put your pants back on, and figure out the one or two most important issues to collectively protest about (I'm looking at you "Free Paris" fans).  Then for every person that suggests something such as the "Vomit-In", you're getting smacked over the head with a sandwich board and donating fifty dollars for your stupidity.  By the time, we collect all the dumbass ideas, we'll have collected enough "donations" to get some changes made through the most effective protest sign there is:




Cash.